Week 12 , Expectations & Resentments

“Unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments”

It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We expect our Higher Power and the Universe – not one person – to be our source.

I believe it’s unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It’s the other person’s responsibility to freely choose whether to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that’s controlling.
There’s a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given.
It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected.
It is reasonable to have certain and well-defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person’s unavailability. We do this for ourselves.
It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any person. We can trust ourselves to know what’s reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.

 

I had a wonderful day last Saturday with my oldest daughter, Emma. When she was 3 years old I took an afternoon off from work to take her to watch her first movie in a movie theatre. The movie was “Beauty and the Beast”. I remember how awe struck she was by the huge screen and booming speakers. That was a very happy dad moment for me and I won’t ever forget it. That was 25 years ago and now Disney has released a new, live-action remake of the original.

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I had initially thought it was just something fun and silly and nostalgic to do with Emma and we could have a few laughs together. Well the movie is very well done and I was a little shocked to discover that I was enjoying the movie. It was great and I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying it. Well done Disney. We kicked around the mall for awhile and then went for a nice dinner at Eau Claire. My Saturdays can’t get much better than that.

 

I got home from work Wednesday and bumped into my neighbour, in the back lane. I asked her how she was doing. Her reply was “shitty”. So I stopped to talk to her and found out that her dog, a black Labrador, had died on Saturday. Vader was his name and he and my dog Hoover always had time to bark at each other through the fences and the shrubs and sniff each other’s butts, as dogs do, when they were on the sidewalk together. He was a year younger than Hoover and died from the cancer that was discovered in him only 3 weeks prior. It’s quite sad actually and makes me appreciate the time I have with Hoover, just a little more.

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Hoover The Dog

Here’s a Ted Talk I recently watched that touched a nerve with me. It’s about finding the courage to speak up against prejudice and bigotry. It’s only 4:18 if you want to take the time to watch it.

 

The song this week is Hey Bebe from Rhiannon Giddens new album, Freedom Highway

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The quote this week:

“The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.”

M.K. Clinton
Thanks for dropping by…….I appreciate it……

Week 51

Hello there. I’m glad to see you if you’re a first timer and thanks for coming back if you’ve been here before.

Lori and I power shopped at Chinook Shopping Center last Saturday. That place is crazy any time but at Christmas it’s crazy, on steroids. Ten days prior to this excursion we made our plans to go. I require this much time ahead of the event so I can do a head job on myself to treat my ADD, OCD and Anxie-D. So off we went after my Saturday morning home group meeting ,as my most spiritual self and we did it. The mall was great. All the festive decorations, the jingle of those Sally Ann bells and the music, quiet but always heard in the background of conversations.

That night we went to my brother-in-law’s 70th birthday party. My sister Susan, Jeff’s wife, had rented a suite at The Westin in downtown Calgary for the celebration. It was a celebration in a couple ways. Not only did Jeff turn 70 but he has had lung cancer for a number of years so a 70th birthday is something that wasn’t really planned too far ahead. I’m glad it was in the cards. Jeff’s a great guy and he’s looking great.He’s got a great attitude and a great laugh. There was a ton of good food. A brisket, curry chicken breast, shrimp, cheese and crackers and lots to drink both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. Family members galore and some good close friends too. Great party and well done Sue!

How about the Flames? Come on folks. That’s 7 wins in a row!! Hell they might even make it into the playoffs this year. Ha-Ha. Seriously this city loves hockey and most of us, with the exception of those transplants from Edmonton and Vancouver, love to see the Flames winning. Calgary loves hockey! The Flames may not be the best team in the league but they have heart and youth and some really exciting players. The goal-tending blows but there’s a rumor they may be picking up Bernier from Toronto. Go Flames!

We’re winding down year end at work and I am definitely looking forward to a few days off over Christmas to relax. We’ll all go to MJ’s house for Christmas supper this year. Yes I am looking forward to a few days off, some relaxation, family and friends and recharging my physical batteries. Maybe we can get out for a snow shoe.We have no plans except to enjoy some down time.

As the world winds down the year I want to take up the rest of this post with some videos that I found inspiring, funny or interesting in 2015 and I want to share them with you. I hope you have time to watch them. If not please come back when you have more time because I really think they are worth watching.

 

The first video is called Love Has No Labels-Diversity & Inclusion

The second video is from Jimmy Kimmel Live and is his Mean Tweets –President Obama Edition

The third video is a Budweiser Super Bowl commercial titled Best Buds. I’m a sucker for dogs.

The fourth video is  Conor McGregor with an impromptu interview with TMZ. And I posted it because of my Irish heritage and McGregor may be my favorite Irishman, today.

The fifth video is one I like because I love it when adults still find the kid in them and they aren’t embarrassed to let it out. Plastic ball prank

Well I hope you enjoyed some or all of the videos. It’s not something I would make a habit of but its year end and these were some of my favorites of 2015.

 

The song this week is from Randall Bramblett and its titled Every Saint

And this week’s quote is from Alice Cooper

The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.

 

I really hope to see you next week….it’ll be Christmas Eve. Take care until then.