Week 12 , Expectations & Resentments

“Unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments”

It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We expect our Higher Power and the Universe – not one person – to be our source.

I believe it’s unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It’s the other person’s responsibility to freely choose whether to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that’s controlling.
There’s a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given.
It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected.
It is reasonable to have certain and well-defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person’s unavailability. We do this for ourselves.
It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any person. We can trust ourselves to know what’s reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.

 

I had a wonderful day last Saturday with my oldest daughter, Emma. When she was 3 years old I took an afternoon off from work to take her to watch her first movie in a movie theatre. The movie was “Beauty and the Beast”. I remember how awe struck she was by the huge screen and booming speakers. That was a very happy dad moment for me and I won’t ever forget it. That was 25 years ago and now Disney has released a new, live-action remake of the original.

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I had initially thought it was just something fun and silly and nostalgic to do with Emma and we could have a few laughs together. Well the movie is very well done and I was a little shocked to discover that I was enjoying the movie. It was great and I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying it. Well done Disney. We kicked around the mall for awhile and then went for a nice dinner at Eau Claire. My Saturdays can’t get much better than that.

 

I got home from work Wednesday and bumped into my neighbour, in the back lane. I asked her how she was doing. Her reply was “shitty”. So I stopped to talk to her and found out that her dog, a black Labrador, had died on Saturday. Vader was his name and he and my dog Hoover always had time to bark at each other through the fences and the shrubs and sniff each other’s butts, as dogs do, when they were on the sidewalk together. He was a year younger than Hoover and died from the cancer that was discovered in him only 3 weeks prior. It’s quite sad actually and makes me appreciate the time I have with Hoover, just a little more.

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Hoover The Dog

Here’s a Ted Talk I recently watched that touched a nerve with me. It’s about finding the courage to speak up against prejudice and bigotry. It’s only 4:18 if you want to take the time to watch it.

 

The song this week is Hey Bebe from Rhiannon Giddens new album, Freedom Highway

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The quote this week:

“The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.”

M.K. Clinton
Thanks for dropping by…….I appreciate it……

Week 25

Sunday was Father’s Day and my family made it a great day for me and it was a perfect way to get ready for the upcoming work week. The kids had tickets for the Okotoks Dawgs baseball game Sunday afternoon and for me, it’s pretty hard to beat a sunny afternoon baseball game! And add the kids and it’s perfect.

I’m easy to please with a bottle of root beer and a bag of peanuts compliments of the kids and I sat back and got my sunburn on. We also had one of Olivia’s friends with us and my niece too.

After the game we all went back to the house and Lori had burgers on the BBQ and ice cream sandwiches. I even got a card and a gift from the kids! The card was handmade which was cool because I probably haven’t had a handmade card since the kids were in grade school. And check this gift out from The locked Room .  This looks like a lot of fun and we will do this in August! It’s quite an interesting concept that I will be sure to get back to you about after we’ve done it and experienced it.

Hoover the Dog had major surgery on Friday to remove a malignant tumor from her side. It’s a huge ass incision and something along the lines of a Frankenstein scar. The Vet is confident that they took a large enough marker and they got it all. They would send her to a specialist if we wanted to but at this time we don’t want her on any drugs if she doesn’t need them. She’s full of life, acting like a pup half the time and I think she has already for gotten about the trauma that happened at the “bad place”. The place that has all those people who wear white coats who always stick needles in her. It’s going to be impossible to coax her into that office next time. She’s good now though, acting like a pup and running around. She was even smart enough to put her pills in her mouth, lick off the peanut butter and spit them back out. So now Lori is putting the pills in cheese. Hopefully Hoover the Dog is around for many more years.

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Call me schmaltzy but I like this speech from Rocky Balboa. I really like it!

Rocky Balboa, is having a heart-to-heart with his son. The advice he gives him: Don’t let your failures or the adversity you face slow you down. Keep. Moving. Forward.

    Rocky Balboa (2006) 

 

“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

 

We have tickets to see Joe Jackson on the 27th so the song this week is a Joe Jackson tune called

Is She Really Going Out With Him

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The quote this week is from Ralph Waldo Emerson

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Thanks for dropping by and I hope I’ll see you next week…………………..