Week 18 & Codependency

 

Some alcoholics die. I didn’t make this up to shock Jack and I don’t like it. But it happens a lot more than people think it does. Alcoholics and drug addicts die every day in every city. It’s sad because I know there is a solution. That’s an actual title of a chapter out of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous; There is a Solution. Jack called me on Tuesday afternoon and asked me if I had time for a coffee. We met at Tim’s in The Core. Jack’s brother just got out of detox on Monday and immediately took up residence in a motel with a few bottles of rye. It’s a story I have heard before or I should say I’ve heard very similar stories before.  If I could save every alcoholic I would make it my full-time commitment to do so. But I can’t. I don’t have that kind of power. I don’t have the numbers but it’s extraordinary when someone is forced into recovery and makes it. Recovery is not necessarily for people who need it, it’s for people who want it. I’ve seen great successes in the rooms of 12 step recovery. People who have had their addictions removed and who have been given a life far beyond anything they had ever imagined for themselves. I’m one of those. Jack was feeling anxious and sick to his stomach because of some things his brother had said to him. Things that were malicious.

The alcoholic or addict will certainly play on your emotions and attempt to make you feel bad, or make you feel that you are in some way responsible for their happiness. They’ll say mean and hurtful things. They’ll yell and scream. “If you had my life you’d drink too” you’ll hear them say. Or they might say “you have no idea what I’m going through” or to a spouse, “if you weren’t such a ______ I wouldn’t have to drink”. Anything to remove the attention off their addiction. I assure you I am not responsible for anyone else’s drinking and there’s a slogan from Al-Anon that says “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it”. Don’t let the alcoholic drag you down, or into their mess. If they can make you feel bad enough about their situation you just might give them a few more dollars, or maybe one last ride to the liquor store, or one last trip to their dealers. “Just one last time Jack, I promise” But be there if they are looking for a hand up. We hope that day comes. Make sure you know the difference between being used and helping, because you can love an alcoholic/addict to death. I’ve seen it. From Wikipedia – “Codependency is a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement”. In A.A. there is a slogan and it goes If you want to drink that’s your business. If you want to stop drinking that’s our business. If you have someone in your life that’s hurting you as a result of their alcoholism or drug addiction seek some help, for yourself, at Al-Anon.

My friend Jack went to an Al-Anon meeting Tuesday night. He’s going to another one on Thursday night. I know he’ll get the support and help he needs. As for Jack’s brother, we have a chair waiting for him if he decides he wants help.

 

In my post of week 15 my hockey predictions at the beginning of round 1 of the NHL playoffs, were stink. Ha-ha. I got 4 out of 8 correct. So now we’re into round 2 without my beloved Calgary Flames or Montreal Canadiens.

Nashville leads STL 3 games to 1 and look to move on

Edmonton leads Anaheim 2-1

Ottawa lead New York 2-1

Pittsburgh leads Washington 2-1

Tonight, will see Pittsburgh, without the league’s best player, Sidney Crosby take on Washington and Anaheim is in Edmonton. Round two has seen some awesome hockey played and the intensity level is way up! Enjoy the games.

 

The Toronto Raptors are in round 2 against the Cleveland Cavaliers and they are down 1-0 in the best of 7 series.

 

The song this week is from a favorite of mine and quite unknown. They’ve sometimes been called a movement or an organization. Here is Playing for Change with their version of Imagine

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The quote this week is a paragraph from a small daily devotional.

The heroic first step of the journey is out of, or over the edge of, your boundaries, and it often must be taken before you know that you will be supported. The hero’s journey has been compared to a birth; it starts out warm and snug in a safe place; then comes a signal, growing more insistent, that it is time to leave. To stay beyond your time is to putrefy. Without the blood and searing and pain, there is no new life.

A Joseph Campbell Companion:Reflections on the Art of Living

 

 

Thanks for dropping by, I hope you’ll be back next week…………….

 

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